It is a universal principle that when two people meet with boredom, they end up talking about a third. Also, it’s usually not in a good way. Think about yourself. How many times have you ended up being more offended by a person’s behavior after having listened to another person discussing her? This is despite the fact that that same behavior hadn’t been bothering you much before.

Usually, we tend to not pay attention to small things when we are busy, but we start seeing them more and more when someone else mentions them to us. People are always eager to belong and take sides even though we may not always have all the facts straight. Psychologically, we tend to take the side of the first person to bring the problem to our attention.

But there’s a big problem with that.

Imagine that you are at a new workplace with two others: John and Alex, and you are friends with both of them. During break, John comes to you complaining about how Alex bosses people around. Previously, you hadn’t noticed that Alex does that, but after John told you, you started seeing it more and more. As time passes and John complains more and more, you become more and more annoyed by it. You also become more friendly with John and somewhat bitter with Alex. Your workplace become a hell because of Alex, and you become negative with him. He senses your negativity and becomes more bitter towards you. Eventually, you either resign or keep bothering Alex till he does.

The bigger problem would be that even if Alex were to do something good, you would still interpret it negatively almost no matter what. And this is sad.

But where did the problem start?

It started with gossip, and not only through spreading gossip but by listening to it. This is why, in your life you should take an important stance against gossip: refuse to spread it, and refuse to listen to it. Not only will this help you keep your mind clear, but it will also save you from making unnecessary enemies. However, make it a point to look for the good in people and talk about it.

Originally posted on April 3, 2020 @ 6:48 pm

There are two kinds of people…

How many times have you heard that one before?

No really!

A person’s truth shines only after he’s been through hardships. One of the most important gods in the Hindu religion is Lord Shiva who is both the god of wisdom and the god of destruction. And when we delve deeper into why these two seemingly opposing concepts are merged in one god, we discover a very important truth: without destroying the old ego, new wisdom cannot be developed. As discussed in an earlier post here, one of the most important marks of wisdom is humility. As long as a person is arrogant, he cannot be truly wise.

This brings us back to chocolate. Assuming that good people are like chocolate, when it’s placed in the sun or on fire, chocolate only becomes softer and just as tasty (hot chocolate anyone?). Good people are like that: hardships only make them wiser and better human beings. On the other hand, many people who are already bitter end up hardening and becoming even more negative after going through hardships, just like clay.

In the end, most of us will go through hardships in our lives; we don’t have a choice in that. However, we do have a choice whether we will be chocolate or whether we’ll be clay.

Originally posted on October 22, 2020 @ 11:05 am

A few years ago, I was working in a school with a very abusive boss. He wasn’t always so; on the contrary, we had started out as good colleagues, and I believed in his vision. However, as things progressed, I felt more and more alienated and less and less appreciated.

Back then, I didn’t understand what had been going on. Now, in retrospect, I can clearly see that this person wasn’t driven by ambition, as he claimed, but by jealousy. Everything he did was because someone else did it first… at the time, I was already a published author and a highly regarded individual. I was even publishing a major release around that time, and now I can see that it drove him to the edge.

And this is where the difference between ambition and jealousy lies. While they can both be inspired by the achievements of others, an ambitious person appreciates more successful people and works with them to outdo his own self. On the other hand, a jealous person loathes more successful people and may even pretend to love them until he deems himself better than them. Moreover, sometimes when he is unable to reach the success of these others that he is seeking to emulate, he will seek to destroy them any way possible.

Eventually, after I found that I had been continually demoted, I resigned along with many others, and this continues to happen to this day. Every year, more and more people resign because of the same issues. Nowadays, he has found another person to emulate. She had a PhD… and now he’s pursuing his. Godspeed…

Originally posted on May 6, 2020 @ 4:07 am